Thursday, May 27, 2010

"WHY ME?" Health Horror Stories

Today, after over a year of intense diet and exercise, I finally lost 30 lbs and got into a size 0. When I was hanging out with my friends I told them the good news. The girls all congratulated me. One guy said, "You looked way hotter 30 lbs ago." The other 15 guys all agreed.  -iwannabeamodel, Nevada

Today, I decided to lay out and tan. I fell asleep and got sun burned and bitten numerous times by mosquitoes.If I scratch my itch, the burn hurts terribly. If I don't scratch it, it itches terribly. -kaylajere, Texas

Today, my friend bet everyone at my lunch table that no one could catch the fly that was flying around our table.I reached up and caught it, and it stung me. It wasn't a fly, it was a wasp and I'm allergic to wasps. 

Today, I was viciously attacked by a dog. Or to be more precise, by a miniature schnauzer named Princess. -puppy chow, Illinois

Today, I was limping down a wet street on my crutches. So that I wouldn't slip, I took small safe steps. As I try to avoid a puddle on the footpath, my crutches slip on a wet leaf and cause me to fall over onto my arm. My wrist is now sprained. The same wrist I need to use my crutches. -lostdans, Australia

Today, I showed my mom my new bikini I had just purchased. She slightly smiled and then went out shopping.Two hours later, she came home with slimfast, diet coke, and yoga dvds because I needed "help" for bikini season. -longlegs, New Jersey

Today, I was eating pizza with my boyfriend and my friends. I was laughing and talking and went for another piece when my boyfriend grabbed my wrist and said that I had had enough. My friends all backed him up. -fatgirl, US

Today, after taking a pregnancy test and carefully disposing of all the evidence so no one would find out, I realized I left the receipt for it on the bathroom counter. I noticed too late as I watch my mom step out of the bathroom, and my step-father go in right after. -Anonymous, Canada

Today, it was 95 degrees out. My cheap father refused to turn on the air conditioning, even after I passed out. -Super_Hot, US

Today, my mom decided our whole family is going on a diet. Why? Because the vet told us our dog is overweight, and she "didn't want Twix to suffer alone.-fatpooch, Canada

Today, I was yelled at for bleeding. My brother threw a baseball at me while I was studying with my headphones on, which broke one of my teeth. I was yelled at for getting blood on my new shirt and my brother's autographed baseball. I have to replace both of them. -Anonymous, New Mexico

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