"WHY ME?" Health Horror Stories

Today, after over a year of intense diet and exercise, I finally lost 30 lbs and got into a size 0. When I was hanging out with my friends I told them the good news. The girls all congratulated me. One guy said, "You looked way hotter 30 lbs ago." The other 15 guys all agreed.  -iwannabeamodel, Nevada


Today, I decided to lay out and tan. I fell asleep and got sun burned and bitten numerous times by mosquitoes.If I scratch my itch, the burn hurts terribly. If I don't scratch it, it itches terribly. -kaylajere, Texas

Today, my friend bet everyone at my lunch table that no one could catch the fly that was flying around our table.I reached up and caught it, and it stung me. It wasn't a fly, it was a wasp and I'm allergic to wasps. 

Today, I was viciously attacked by a dog. Or to be more precise, by a miniature schnauzer named Princess. -puppy chow, Illinois


Today, I was limping down a wet street on my crutches. So that I wouldn't slip, I took small safe steps. As I try to avoid a puddle on the footpath, my crutches slip on a wet leaf and cause me to fall over onto my arm. My wrist is now sprained. The same wrist I need to use my crutches. -lostdans, Australia


Today, I showed my mom my new bikini I had just purchased. She slightly smiled and then went out shopping.Two hours later, she came home with slimfast, diet coke, and yoga dvds because I needed "help" for bikini season. -longlegs, New Jersey


Today, I was eating pizza with my boyfriend and my friends. I was laughing and talking and went for another piece when my boyfriend grabbed my wrist and said that I had had enough. My friends all backed him up. -fatgirl, US

Today, after taking a pregnancy test and carefully disposing of all the evidence so no one would find out, I realized I left the receipt for it on the bathroom counter. I noticed too late as I watch my mom step out of the bathroom, and my step-father go in right after. -Anonymous, Canada


Today, it was 95 degrees out. My cheap father refused to turn on the air conditioning, even after I passed out. -Super_Hot, US


Today, my mom decided our whole family is going on a diet. Why? Because the vet told us our dog is overweight, and she "didn't want Twix to suffer alone." -fatpooch, Canada


Today, I was yelled at for bleeding. My brother threw a baseball at me while I was studying with my headphones on, which broke one of my teeth. I was yelled at for getting blood on my new shirt and my brother's autographed baseball. I have to replace both of them. -Anonymous, New Mexico


All found on Fmylife.com

Disappointed in the Ravelry Community

I was very disappointed in the Ravelry community yesterday. I started a thread in which I shared a suggestion, but others interpreted it as a "demand" rather than a "suggestion" and well...the thread just got pretty ugly from there on. As soon as I realized how my original post was interpreted I apologized and also edited that same post by adding an apology to it. However, this didn't do much because the attitude of the thread didn't change at all. A moderator even made an announcement for everyone to "stop bickering" which pretty much everyone ignored. I could see very early in the thread that the harsh comments that I was receiving were only going to get worse, so I sent a message to six moderators telling them that I was beginning to feel harassed and asking them to close the thread. I also  flagged a few of the most offensive replies that were directed at me. None of the moderators responded to me at all. The flagged posts were never dealt with. About 6 hours after the initial moderator announcement, when the thread had grown to 130 comments and the argument had gotten much worse, a moderator finally locked the thread.

I'm disappointed  in the Ravelry community because it seems like the amount of rude and uncalled for comments made in the forums is getting higher and higher each day, and that one must be afraid to share their personal opinion without getting attacked by dozens of people at once. I'm also disappointed in the moderators for not dealing with the situation promptly and habitually allowing bullying to occur in the main boards.

So here's my point:
I think that those of us that participate in online message boards--whether it be on Ravelry, Etsy, Craftster, wherever--need to remember that even though all we see is a computer screen, we're talking to real people that have real feelings, and that having good manners online is just as important as having good manners towards the people we speak with face to face.

So even if you have the chance to say the funniest, snarkiest, most sarcastic comment to gain sweet revenge against someone that has said something that you don't agree with, or even worse, someone who has challenged a statement of yours, the best thing to do is bite your tongue and turn the other cheek. ;)

How-To Tuesday: Quickie Paint Chip Bookmarks

Here's a great idea I found on Care2 that's perfect if you want to do a very quick craft project and have some spare paint chips lying around! :P

For this project you will need:

paint chips

scissors

hole puncher

corner rounder (optional)

now head over to Care2 for the tutorial! :)

Green Tip of the Day: Eat Local

1. Buy Local, Grill Local
Farmers' markets open soon, if they haven't already opened for the season. Choose your meal based on what's in season now, and available locally. Aim to buy as much as possible food grown and produced within 100 miles of home.
Need a jump-start in finding all things local? Use the 100-Mile Diet Mapping Tool to define your target area. Then, use Local Harvest to find local farms and farmers' markets in your neighborhood.


2. The Substitute You'll Actually Pay Attention To
Some summer favorites just aren't available yet. Try these worthy substitutes until the harvest catches up with your appetite. Although there's really no substitute for sweet corn, how about grilling asparagus? It's quick, easy, and the grilled flavors this venerable veg evokes simply can't be beat.
Have a hankering for crisp, cool watermelon? Sub in strawberries — they're ripe for the picking (and eating). Tired of waiting for "everything tomato?" Try our white gazpacho soup recipe that uses lots of garlic instead and will make your calendar-watching days a little more tolerable.

See the full article on The Daily Green

Happy Monday! :)

"WHY ME?" Child Horror Stories

Today, my wife and I took our two-year-old to an amusement park. Twenty minutes after shelling out the big bucks for the ride bracelets, my kid starts crying inconsolably. I'm nominated to take him home. My wife is now calling me every twenty minutes to tell me how much fun she's having while I clean up diarrhea. -Jeffro, South Carolina.

Today, after searching for my real mother, I found out that my biological mother wasn't a drug addicted teenager. No, my biological mother is the one I grew up with for twenty-four years, who always told me I was adopted. -Anonymous, California.

Today, I'm babysitting a friend's children. There are 6 wild kids altogether. After two hours of them running wild, screaming, and destroying my things, they managed to lock me in the bedroom. I can't get the door open, I'm on the second story, and my friends won't be back until the morning. -Anonymous, Illinois.

Today, I found out that my son has been using my American Express card I keep in a drawer for emergencies and has been hiding the bill when it comes in the mail. He's been doing this for four months and has charged over $3,000. -newlybroke, US

Today, I lectured my second-grade class to be more descriptive in their writing. I gave them an assignment to describe something in the classroom. I was grading their work later, and one student wrote, "My class is taught by a fat teacher with gray hair." -Teaching26, Virginia.

Today, I found out that my teenage daughter isn't really pregnant, and only said she was in the hopes of my husband and I throwing her out of our home. -sadmum, Australia

Today, I discovered my eight-year-old decided to turn off the freezer... yesterday. So for Mother's Day, instead of not cooking anything, I'll be cooking EVERYTHING. -minnamouse, Alabama

Today, my little brother thought that it would be funny to put my Xbox games in the toaster and melt them. This was the day I was going to sell my Xbox and games to get an engagement ring for my girlfriend.  -Xbox Raped, UK.

Today, my daughter started crying at the mall. My daughter is 17, and she was crying because I wouldn't buy her 'Hello Kitty' stickers. -HelloKittyHater, Washington.

Today, a group of kids with their teacher were walking by me. One of them pointed at me and asked their teacher if I was a boy or girl. The teacher responded with, "That's a boy." Wrong. -t, Maryland

Father's Day Gift Ideas

Father's Day is coming up!!! ...You forgot, didn't you? Well, in case you did, Father's day is June 20 this year. This means you have exactly one month (31 days) to find the perfect gift! Don't give him another tie. Let's try being a little more original, shall we? :P I've picked some awesome, unique items from Etsy.com that would make perfect gifts. See if you find something he'll love!

Personalized Dad T-shirt by zoeysattic

Stainless Steel Money Clip by VersatilElements

Freakin Awesome Dad card by pairedhearts 

Stacking Mustache Mugs by UptownAvenue

Knit cell phone/camera/mp3 cozy by TylerHandmade (that's me!)

Personalized Guitar Pick by jcjewelrydesign

10 Things I Wish I Could Do

1. Do a cartwheel

For the life of me, I've never been able to get this right. Even when I was a cheerleader....sad, I know.

2. Give my room a nice makeover

That'd be soo nice! :)

3. Ride a unicycle

It would just be awesome. That's reason enough.

4. Quit school

Sometimes it just feels like a huuge waste of time.

5. Travel anywhere and everywhere

Things get a little boring in my hometown.

6. Make a movie/TV show

Little sis and I have some pretty awesome ideas. =)

7. Play the violin

Its a beautiful instrument, and I love listening to it, but I don't have the time, patience or diligence to pick up another instrument.

8. Buy enough clothes and yarn to my heart's content

A girl can dream, can't she? :P

9. Write a song

I've written poetry, but could never seem to come up with an original melody to accompany it.

10. See my boyfriend every day

I miss him. ^_^

It's almost the weekend! Have a great rest of the week everyone :)

The Next Big Thing?

Have you heard of a kid named Greyson Michael Chance? Well, you may be missing out on the next big thing! This sixth grader created his own version of Lady Gaga's "Paparazzi" for his school's talent show--piano arrangement and all.



He also appeared on Ellen. Watch out, Justin Beiber!

15 Ways to Look at an Altoid Tin

Do you love those "curiously strong" Altoid mints? Do you hate throwing away those tins, just knowing they have to be useful for something? Well you're lucky you found this blog post then! I promise you, you'll never see an Altoid tin as garbage again, but rather as...
1. A mini garden

2.  A watercolor box

3. A travel candle

4. A crayon holder

5. A mini tool box

6. first aid, sewing, and dental kits

7. A guitar

more uses for Altoid tins:

7. a mini time capsule

8. A business card holder

9-15. "Office: paper clips, thumb tacks, mechanical pencil leads and erasers 

Sewing: pin/needles, thimbles, pins, folding scissors, needle threader 
Knitting: small travel kit with a few stitch markers, a nail clippers for snipping threads, a short bit of pencil, retractable measuring tape, darning needle. 
Purse: nail clippers, lip balm, a couple of individually packaged wet naps. 
Jewelry: rings and earrings 
Bathroom: bobby pins, hair elastics, floss pics 
Camping/Hiking: matches, small first aid kit with a few band-aids and some wet naps" -damascusannie on Ravelry

These are all great both for saving money, and saving the evironment. They're also great for getting the creative juices flowing.

Have a great week everyone!

Marvelous May Giveaways!

A Knitters Dream Giveaway 

What you win: yarn and a book!

Deadline: May 16

By Hand Givewaway

What you win: 15 custom 1" buttons or flatbacks

Deadline: May 14

Mochatini Giveaway

What you win: handmade cards

Deadline:  May 20

Have a great weekend everyone!

"Sock" Blankie progress

I started a sock yarn blanket last June (with worsted weight acrylic yarn, hence the quote around "sock" in the title) and I started working on it again a couple of weeks ago. This is what I've done so far :)

What do you think?

Top 3 Best and Worst TV Moms

The Best Moms

Number Three:

Kitty Forman

of "That 70's Show"

Kitty Forman was always there to put a home cooked meal on the table and baby her nearly grown up kids with hot cocoa and cookies even while working hard as a nurse. She willingly welcomed her son Eric's friend Hyde into her home and always urged Eric and Lori to make it to church. So she had a little bit of an alcohol problem aaand she went kinda crazy when she hit menopause....we'll let that slide for #3. 

Number Two:

Carol Brady

of "The Brady Bunch"

Carol Brady was a nearly perfect mom in a nearly perfect family. She was always giving her children profound words of wisdom such as "don't play ball in the house." Pretty awesome, right? Granted, many of Carol's motherly duties, such as cooking and cleaning, were passed off to the maid, Alice. But that's OK. :P

Number One:

Clair Huxtable
of "The Cosby Show"

"Clair Huxtable is...very eloquent, elegant....playful, silly, yet very assertive." -Wikipedia

This TV mom proved to be very loving towards her children, but still gave them "the look" (see above) whenever they misbehaved. Since she was a lawyer, she even represented her daughter Sondra once when she needed it. Claire is definitely the number one TV mom!

The Worst Moms

Number Three:

Lois

of "Malcolm in the Middle"

Lois had some serious anger issues. She was always telling someone off (whether it be a teacher, policeman..you name it) and was constantly proving that she was always right. She constantly embarrasses her children in front of people (she once spent the night in a dorm room with Malcolm and other students his age when he was visiting a college), and goes way overboard with her punishments. She once shoved lit cigarettes down her oldest son, Francis' throat when she herself was a smoker. Bad mom.

Number Two:

Roseanne Conner

of "Roseanne"

Roseanne quotes:

"If I ever get off this sofa I will be unstoppable."

"WE MAY NOT HAVE ANY ELECTRICITY, BUT WE SURE KNOW THE SPEED OF STUPID!"

Roseanne: no matter what we do we're gonna screw our kids up! Let me have Darlene and you can have Becky.
Dan: what about D.J?
Roseanne: we'll flip for it

Number One:

Benny Lopez

of "George Lopez"

Oh, Benny. Benny is definitely the worst TV mom of all time. She was an alcoholic and a gambler. She told her son George that his father was dead, even though she knew where he was. She never said "I love you" without a sarcastic tone, and the only time she ever told George she was proud of him (also kind of sarcastically) was when he fired her.

Have a Happy Mother's Day everyone! :)

"WHY ME?" Work Horror Stories

Today, after having enough of the people I worked with, I decided to quit and walk out dramatically. When I got home I realized I had left my blackberry on my desk. -Anonymous, California


Today, my boss told me I needed to wait for a very important phone call because the rest of my department had something very important to do. Which was that they needed to pick up beer and play nine holes of golf. -Chad, Massachusetts


Today, I realized the reason I've been jobless for over a year is because I've been writing the wrong phone number on every application I've filled out. -ufgh, Oregon


Today, my boss fired me. A couple hours later, he texted me to ask me out on a date, since it would no longer be breaking company policy to see each other. -Jenn, Canada


Today, I was fired from my dream job because I was an hour late for work. I was trapped inside the elevator of the work building along with a coworker. He was not fired, nor did he get a warning. -TheEndofHumanity, Canada

Today, I went to the park on my lunch break. One of the benches had a "Wet Paint" sign on it so I sat on the one opposite. I guess someone thought it would be funny to switch the sign. I had a meeting after lunch. -Luckedout, Australia

Today, I misspelled a word at work. I am a tattoo artist.   
-youdontknowme, Oregon