Saturday, February 13, 2010

Two most feared words known to mankind? Chuck. Norris.

I love Chuck Norris facts! These are some of my favorites.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. 

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

Geico saved money by switching to Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

Chuck Norris is what Willis was talking about

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Chuck Norris. 

Chuck Norris can speak braille.

Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it. 

Chuck Norris knows what Victoria's Secret is.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.

Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.

After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His reasoning? It was more “humane”. 

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits. 

Santa Claus DID exist...Until he forgot a  present for Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience.

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack.His heart isn't foolish enough to attack him.

Chuck Norris can hear sign language.

Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris' PC will crash.

Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain

When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.

Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.

Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.

Chuck Norris can spell his name with M&M's.

Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris knows how many licks it takes to get to the center of the earth.

What are your favorite Chuck Norris facts? Leave them as a comment, and I'll add them to the list! ^_^


Anonymous said...

Awesome! Brought a massive grin to my face and made my chap guffaw - serves him right for snooping over my shoulder to see what I was smiling at! Thanks for that.

Eco-Friendly Freckles said...

Ha ha, I think all men what to be Chuck Norris! His round house kick is destructive! Thanky you Tyler for following my blog (I am now following yours!) the way to answer your question, my hand-painted upcycled decoupage canisters make great candle votives! You can also display them as a trinket container, pen or pencil holder, or as a stunning work of art. They also make a great gift for holding baked goods, chocolates, candies, cookies, soaps, bath salts, teas, etc. Also in my shop are some beautiful "cello" bags made of 1.2 mil crystal clear polypropylene that are decorated in elegant white lace and are used as candy bags, food bags, soap bags, or for any small item. I also have black satin pouches that fit wonderfully in my smaller canisters. These are great for using when giving as a gift to contain other presents!

Tyler said...

haha, i definitely had to look up what "guffaw" meant, dunderknit! adding that to my vocab right away :)

and thanks eco-friendly freckles.

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